Cathy
Spelling errors, grammar errors, misuse of homonyms and typos are left as an exercise for my readers.
Showing posts with label Funny of the Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny of the Day. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Husband Asked Me to Pick Up Something from the Store
What was it?
Cathy
Spelling errors, grammar errors, misuse of homonyms and typos are left as an exercise for my readers.
Cathy
Spelling errors, grammar errors, misuse of homonyms and typos are left as an exercise for my readers.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
A Very Funny, Funny of the Day
Hat tip Lennie Jarratt of the Sam Adams Alliance and Education Matters.
Cathy
Spelling and grammar errors as well as typos are left as an exercise for my readers.
Woman in a Hot Air Balloon
A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still
lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
What have you found in your child's backpack? Did you ever find poop?
During election season we usually hear from a number of parents who are angry because the school has put literature in their child's backpack asking in so many words for the parents to support a tax warrant or a tax referendum. We have not heard a parent complain about getting poop in a backpack, yet!
I find it funny because after so many years of studying the public education system nothing surprises me. Others may find the following story disturbing.
Cathy
Spelling and grammar errors as well as typos are left as an exercise for my readers.
The following story appears at WINK News.com.
Teacher puts poop in kid's backpack
Story Created: Apr 22, 2009 at 4:28 PM EDT
Story Updated: Apr 22, 2009 at 4:30 PM EDT
YAKIMA, WA (KIMA) - An unexpected surprise in their son's backpack caught some Yakima Washington parents off guard. It was human waste, with a note attached from the boy's teacher. And the school isn't denying that's what happened.
"I'm still kinda in shock over this, because why would somebody do this? It's disgusting," said Jason, the father of the little boy.
It all started on Friday at Apple Valley Elementary, when kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Graham called Jason and told him her classroom was "stinky" and asked if it could possibly be his son.
Jason's son had a couple of accidents in the past. So when the teacher called, he says he told her right away, there was an extra set of clothes in his son's bag. But when the 5-year-old came home, the boy was still wearing his original outfit, and Jason says his son was completely clean.
It wasn't until Jason's wife emptied her son's backpack that they got a big surprise.
"She found a clear plastic baggie with a piece of fecal matter wrapped up in some a brown paper towel with the note on it. ‘This little turd was on the floor in my room’ And that's all it says. Q: Nothing else? A: Nothing else. If it was his did she see him do this? Or did she follow him around to make sure this was his, did she see it drop out? Or just assume it was his because he had an accident a few months ago?"
These are all answers the family doesn't have.
Jason did not receive a call from the school or the teacher.
The superintendent sent an email to say they were looking into it.
But with just a couple months left in this school year, Jason isn't sure he wants his son to stay in her class.
"Not only did she put our kid at risk, it's a health risk, other kids too, you know, on the bus," said Jason.
The West Valley Superintendent says the district's Human Resources Department was speaking with the teacher, Mrs. Graham, and the Apple Valley principal.
That meeting happened Tuesday afternoon, but at this time the principal says they are still looking into the details of what happened, and will talk with the parents further.
---
Information from Melissa Wagner, KIMA
The above picture appears at Ithacan Online.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I was wrong!
For years I have spoke out against the public education system. I felt I knew what was best for my children, I have come to the realization that I was wrong. There is no one who can better educate my children than the public education system.
My children will learn about diversity, that history is not a constant but it changes over time they will learn to read by recognition and not by phonics. My children will learn that being a good American means going green no matter what the science is behind going green. My children will learn that it is okay to spell a word wrong as long as you come close, they will also learn it is okay to say that 2 + 2= 5 as long as they tried hard and feel good about their effort. My children will learn that it is okay to be fiscally irresponsible and to question parental authority. My children will learn to accept socialism.
I know that taxing me as much as possible even if it means losing my home is what is best for my children. My children will learn that taxes are good and teachers and school employees should be paid whatever they want. My children will learn that it is okay to be a leech off of the rest of society and that personal responsibility is just not necessary in America today. My children will learn to hate America.
I now understand that it is okay for educators to use my children as political pawns. I know it is okay for them to tell my children to go home and tell me that their teacher will lose their job if we do not support the school tax increase.
Happy April Fools Day
Cathy
Spelling and grammar errors as well as typos are left as an exercise for my readers.
My children will learn about diversity, that history is not a constant but it changes over time they will learn to read by recognition and not by phonics. My children will learn that being a good American means going green no matter what the science is behind going green. My children will learn that it is okay to spell a word wrong as long as you come close, they will also learn it is okay to say that 2 + 2= 5 as long as they tried hard and feel good about their effort. My children will learn that it is okay to be fiscally irresponsible and to question parental authority. My children will learn to accept socialism.
I know that taxing me as much as possible even if it means losing my home is what is best for my children. My children will learn that taxes are good and teachers and school employees should be paid whatever they want. My children will learn that it is okay to be a leech off of the rest of society and that personal responsibility is just not necessary in America today. My children will learn to hate America.
I now understand that it is okay for educators to use my children as political pawns. I know it is okay for them to tell my children to go home and tell me that their teacher will lose their job if we do not support the school tax increase.
Happy April Fools Day
Cathy
Spelling and grammar errors as well as typos are left as an exercise for my readers.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Homeschoolers Are Taxpayers Best Friend!
I received the following piece from the Home School Legal Defense Association. I love this part in one of the statements below, "The opportunity to serve someone is a privilege, not an entitlement." This is also a great quote "Homeschoolers are some of the best friends the taxpayer has."
Every parent who homeschools in Croydon will save Croydon taxpayers between 10,292 - 12,301 per child during the 2009 - 2010 school year.
Cathy
Spelling and grammar errors as well as typos are left as an exercise for our readers.
Homeschoolers Get Blamed, Again
On January 22, a committee of the Rapid City School Board implied that homeschoolers were to blame for the school system losing thousands of dollars in funding. Just six days later, the Clear Lake Courier blamed homeschoolers for the loss of $41,000 in school funding.
When homeschoolers are wrongly accused of creating financial problems for public school systems, it’s time to respond. HSLDA attorney Scott A. Woodruff sent the following letter to the editor to the Clear Lake Courier:
Dear Editor:
By leaving the blame for the school system losing $41,981 at the door of area homeschoolers, your recent article, “Students and aid lost from open enrollment,” encourages your readership to think that homeschoolers are the problem.
But it’s perfectly logical to reduce a school’s funding when it serves fewer students. If there are fewer students, the school needs less money.
The question that then remains is: “Since the opportunity to serve someone is a privilege, not an entitlement, what does the school plan to change to reduce the erosion of confidence among area families?” That’s the $41,000 question that went unasked and therefore unanswered in your article.
Next time the Clear Lake Courier talks about schools “losing” money because of homeschoolers, please mention how much homeschoolers save the taxpayer by educating their children at their own expense—not the taxpayers’. Homeschoolers are some of the best friends the taxpayer has.
Sincerely,
Scott A. Woodruff, Esq.
Every parent who homeschools in Croydon will save Croydon taxpayers between 10,292 - 12,301 per child during the 2009 - 2010 school year.
Cathy
Spelling and grammar errors as well as typos are left as an exercise for our readers.
Homeschoolers Get Blamed, Again
On January 22, a committee of the Rapid City School Board implied that homeschoolers were to blame for the school system losing thousands of dollars in funding. Just six days later, the Clear Lake Courier blamed homeschoolers for the loss of $41,000 in school funding.
When homeschoolers are wrongly accused of creating financial problems for public school systems, it’s time to respond. HSLDA attorney Scott A. Woodruff sent the following letter to the editor to the Clear Lake Courier:
Dear Editor:
By leaving the blame for the school system losing $41,981 at the door of area homeschoolers, your recent article, “Students and aid lost from open enrollment,” encourages your readership to think that homeschoolers are the problem.
But it’s perfectly logical to reduce a school’s funding when it serves fewer students. If there are fewer students, the school needs less money.
The question that then remains is: “Since the opportunity to serve someone is a privilege, not an entitlement, what does the school plan to change to reduce the erosion of confidence among area families?” That’s the $41,000 question that went unasked and therefore unanswered in your article.
Next time the Clear Lake Courier talks about schools “losing” money because of homeschoolers, please mention how much homeschoolers save the taxpayer by educating their children at their own expense—not the taxpayers’. Homeschoolers are some of the best friends the taxpayer has.
Sincerely,
Scott A. Woodruff, Esq.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
High School -- 1958 VS 2008
Jim received this from his friend who is heading up...if I remember correctly research and development at Apple Computers. Yep all those neat things you MAC junkies love he is part of that.
The following is funny, but sad too because there is a lot of truth to it as well.
Cathy
Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1958 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1958 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1958 - Ants die.
2008 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
The following is funny, but sad too because there is a lot of truth to it as well.
Cathy
Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1958 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1958 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1958 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1958 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1958 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1958 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1958 - Ants die.
2008 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1958 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Lettuce Examine duh NEA And Teachers Unions And EdukShun In General
So true and funny too. Hat tip to American Daily for the following piece.
Cathy
Lettuce Examine duh NEA And Teachers Unions And EdukShun In General
EdukShun piece by Malcolm Hedges
Da NEA (Numb-skull EdukShun Advocates) and other teachers unions are Progressive Socialist driven subverters of true education where ever they gain power.
We spend zillions of dollars for “education” and get many High School and College/University graduates that can’t read their diplomas?
Those graduates are well versed in “Nanny State” concepts, Marxism, Political Correctness and Socialism, but know little to nothing about history, mathematics, reading, speaking English, US government or writing.
Every day some Progressive Socialist says we need “more money to fix education” , the key word is “fix”, the fix is in and continued funding of Progressive Socialist training camps is all they can see in the future.
The Department Of Education and school administrators are on board and endorse the scheme as well.
The cry for “every kid must go to college” is total BS! It’s a scam to keep useless Progressive Socialist Colleges and Universities solvent.
About 75% of the high school populations are not functionally qualified for a 4-year College or University. Many, if not most, of those students would be better served by attending a Business School, Junior College, Medical Institute or Technical Institute.
It has been demonstrated over and over that the longer students attend US public schools the stupider they get. By the way, that is the Progressive agenda and it is working well.
Our country is starving for highly paid qualified mechanical, medical and technical personnel! College/University students are trained that having to work for a living is “below their station in life”!
Yes, the USA currently has no valid working educational system…. Teachers unions make sure that very few students manage to survive public schools with any common sense or practical knowledge.
Posted by Malcolm Hedges on 1/18/09 at 04:18 PM
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Happy New Year
I admit it I am 44 and a sucker for fart humor and anything related to farts. When I read the article on the Union Leader by Charles M. Arlinghaus titled "These Plans for Tax Hikes are Just Hot Air" and the comments, I knew I had to look at the picture linked in the comments.
Cathy
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
This is too funny.
Our friends at the Illinois Policy Institute sent us a very relevant funny. It is probably best to go to their site to see the image better.
Cathy
Cathy
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Funny of the Day....
well two funnies of the day.
Hat Tip to Lennie of the Sam Adams Alliance for the second funny of the day. Heck lets not call it a funny lets call it a plan for your next meal out.
On my way to lunch recently, I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "Vote Obama; I need the money." I laughed. In a restaurant my server had on an "Obama 08″ tie. Again I laughed. Just imagine the coincidence. When the bill came, I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Barack-Obama-redistribution-of-wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need―the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight. I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful. At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment, I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more. I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.
After reading this, I think we should all put this into action. Every time you go out to a restaurant from now until the election, ask your server who they are supporting (after you are done with your meal). If they are supporting Obama tell them you are happy to hear that and you are glad they are so compassionate towards the less fortunate. Then tell then you are going to donate their tip to the next homeless person you see in their name so they can start redistributing the wealth even before the election. Not only will you affect their opinion, they will tell every other server in that restaurant. If they don't like this redistribution of their wealth, then tell ask them to reconsider their vote for Obama. Remember, you many want to avoid that restaurant for a while after this personal object lesson.
P.S. Happy Birthday Joanne Marfechuk
Hat Tip to Lennie of the Sam Adams Alliance for the second funny of the day. Heck lets not call it a funny lets call it a plan for your next meal out.
On my way to lunch recently, I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "Vote Obama; I need the money." I laughed. In a restaurant my server had on an "Obama 08″ tie. Again I laughed. Just imagine the coincidence. When the bill came, I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Barack-Obama-redistribution-of-wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need―the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight. I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful. At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment, I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more. I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.
After reading this, I think we should all put this into action. Every time you go out to a restaurant from now until the election, ask your server who they are supporting (after you are done with your meal). If they are supporting Obama tell them you are happy to hear that and you are glad they are so compassionate towards the less fortunate. Then tell then you are going to donate their tip to the next homeless person you see in their name so they can start redistributing the wealth even before the election. Not only will you affect their opinion, they will tell every other server in that restaurant. If they don't like this redistribution of their wealth, then tell ask them to reconsider their vote for Obama. Remember, you many want to avoid that restaurant for a while after this personal object lesson.
P.S. Happy Birthday Joanne Marfechuk
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Please Tell Me You Aren't Voting For McCain/Palin
I got an email from my college freshman daughter saying "please tell me you aren't voting for McCain/Palin". I shot one back saying "please tell me you are not voting for the ticket that will tax me to the point that I can no longer pay for your tuition and living expenses".
Haven't heard a word back.....lol.
The above was a comment posted on the story The Bradley Effect and kids (updated) on the American Thinker.
Haven't heard a word back.....lol.
The above was a comment posted on the story The Bradley Effect and kids (updated) on the American Thinker.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Taxpayers voting for a Democrat is like....
a chicken voting for Col. Sanders.
Not so funny...Funny of the Day.
I forgot to post this yesterday. Hattip to McHenry County Blog for finding this sign. Edited 10/21/2008
Not so funny...Funny of the Day.
I forgot to post this yesterday. Hattip to McHenry County Blog for finding this sign. Edited 10/21/2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Funny of the Day
We have not posted recently because Jim's Mom was in town.
My sister-in-law sent this picture. As always we are not endorsing any particular candidates or party.
Cathy
My sister-in-law sent this picture. As always we are not endorsing any particular candidates or party.
Cathy
Friday, September 12, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Presidential Comparison Chart.
Often when I receive information I double check that the information I receive is correct. On August 31, 2008 I posted a chart that was sent to me. Even though the chart has sources some sources say the information is incorrect. So anyone who reads the chart should look at the resources and I suggest further research on your own as well.
I do encourage readers if they do find errors and indeed you probably will find errors please feel free to send me corrections.
Mallard Fillmore is a cartoon that appears in a number of Newspapers including our local Eagle Times. You can read more of the Mallard Fillmore cartoons on the Seattle Post-Intelligencer website.
I do encourage readers if they do find errors and indeed you probably will find errors please feel free to send me corrections.
Mallard Fillmore is a cartoon that appears in a number of Newspapers including our local Eagle Times. You can read more of the Mallard Fillmore cartoons on the Seattle Post-Intelligencer website.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Video that Explains the Argument for School Choice.
Hat tip to Lennie Jarratt of Education Matters to referring CRAFT to this video.
This video is really funny. If you have dial-up I suggest viewing it at your local library of downloading overnight.
Cathy
This video is really funny. If you have dial-up I suggest viewing it at your local library of downloading overnight.
Cathy
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Ohio Students Get Proof of Their Education by Receiving Diplomas With It Misspelled
The following AP article appeared on a number of sites including Fox News and CNN.
Ohio Students Get Proof of Their Education by Receiving Diplomas With It Misspelled
WESTLAKE, Ohio — A Cleveland-area principal says he is embarrassed his students got proof of their "educaiton" on their high school diploma.
Westlake High School officials misspelled "education" on the diplomas distributed this weekend. It's been the subject of mockery on local radio.
Principal Timothy Freeman says he sent the diplomas back once to correct another error. When the corrected diplomas came back, no one bothered to check the things they thought were right the first time.
Publisher Jostens has reprinted the new diplomas — a third attempt — and sent them to the 330 graduates.
Ohio Students Get Proof of Their Education by Receiving Diplomas With It Misspelled
WESTLAKE, Ohio — A Cleveland-area principal says he is embarrassed his students got proof of their "educaiton" on their high school diploma.
Westlake High School officials misspelled "education" on the diplomas distributed this weekend. It's been the subject of mockery on local radio.
Principal Timothy Freeman says he sent the diplomas back once to correct another error. When the corrected diplomas came back, no one bothered to check the things they thought were right the first time.
Publisher Jostens has reprinted the new diplomas — a third attempt — and sent them to the 330 graduates.
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